It's been about 4 days since I got back my results and in 3 more weeks, I'll have to send in my application of the courses I want to do. It may seem that there is still time but to me... It seems like everything is going a 'little' too fast for me...
I'm not just preferring to the application I have to send soon but also that I will be stepping forth to the working world in a few years' times... Just thinking of it, I'm scared and it's an irony. When I am young, I hoped I grow up soon so that I have my freedom and now... I realised that freedom can be scary if one don't know how to control it. In addition, there will be no one there to tell you what's right and what's wrong; you got to decide yourself. For me, to decide something for myself is hard because I tend to let people make decisions for me due to various reasons.
First, I am sensitive to people. Thus, I'm worried that the decisions I made may hurt someone unknowingly or that other people may not like my decisions... Next, I'm feared that I may regret the decisions I made. And from past experiences, when I've the confidence to make my own choices, I ended up regretting it. When I let others make the choices, I feel regretted letting them make the choices...Sigh... It's like something is against me or something... Probably I should have persist on and continue to make my own choices than let others. Lastly, I get lazy to make choices when needing to weigh the advantages and disadvantages. As a pessimistic person sometimes, I can think of more bad points than good points and ended up eliminate a choice that could well be good in other people's eyes... In other words, I get a little rushed into making decisions that I ended up regretting it. Oh well, that's something I've to work on.
Following that, after researching a bit on art courses and also from my parent's advice, I decided not to pursue arts... People always asked, "when choosing a job, should one find a job that earned a lot or one that one's passion?" There's no right answer. But to talk in practical sense, obviously a high-paying job should be one that people take. As much as I love drawing so much that it would be great if I could animate an anime, the job isn't going to pay me much. Also, the route to be an animator isn't easy as well or rather nothing is easy; just that to be an animator, you've to be working in a well-known companies like Pixar. So, let's face the reality; going down an art path isn't easy and even more hard to sustain. My parent said that I've to think about the future. If I really pursue art course(in particular animation), can I land into a job that can support me? My parent isn't putting me down or not supporting my passion; instead my parent does support me! "You can pursue an art course when you've a stable job and income." My parent said that to me and well, 'Why not?' I thought. In a way, my parent want me to first be able to support myself before having the ability to do what I love to do! Therefore, I decided to go for a science course since I like science, especially doing experiments, researches and laboratory works!
I don't know what the future holds but... I will still move forward with each step; whether it is a confident one or an uncertain one as I know my route to the working world is just starting. There are still many stuffs out there for me to experience and everything. My world is still too small. I think it may be scary to feature into the unknown yet full of surprises adult world but as long as one live his or her life to the fullest then...I'm sure it will be a fine future.
And that's my way to pen some thoughts down. This is Will signing off! Till then, ja ne~
Dark~
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