In about 2 days' time, the day I've been dreading about yet hope it don't come will be here... The day of the release of my results... I try to tell myself to enjoy my vacations as much and forget about my results so not to dampen my mood but in the end... That was just an escape I created for myself...
"What kind of results will I be getting?" is the question that kept hovering around my head and I can't help but just think of the negative outcome... As much as I hope I get good results, I still can't make up my mind of which path I should or rather would take... The art path or the science path? The science path will open up to more job opportunities so in a way it will be a more reassuring path but... I'm unsure whether my interest in science is a fleeting one or a real one... On the other hand, I'm sure I am passionate about arts or rather drawing and this passion is intensified by my constant drawing in the holidays! On the contrary... The art path is an uncertain one as it is not easy to find a job in that industry... In a way, I'm in a dilemma as to which to choose... There are just too much uncertainty for me to make a choice...Sigh.. The smart choice will be the science path yet at the same time, I love arts so much that... If I could get an art job, I think I can die happy? I really envious those in the animation industries or those manga artists who could work on the stories they want to tell yet their works seem a bit... tedious?
In a way, I am nervous for my results and from past experiences, my results tend to disappoint me... I would hold back my tears from the disappointment I am feeling... I really wish the same miracle I experienced with my Chinese results will happen again for my English... I just hope I could at least be able to get into a University course... Sigh... I really have no confidence. My friend told me, she believed in me and I really hope she didn't put her trust wrongly in me...
Take a deep breathe... I'll face my results with an open mind and heart; no backing out, no running away! Face it and get my results, accepting them as mine proudly, regardless of the outcome! As what my teacher said that I find it true, "having bad results aren't the end of the world!" That advice has made me more open to unlucky events, telling myself that, "this isn't the worst!" and think positively instead.
Following that, after getting my results, I'll finally go and work so as to pass my time, gaining some experience plus money that I am saving to buy something that I've dreading for! (It's a secret! ^_^) That's partly the reason why my Tales project will be put on hold since time spent on my manga project will be cut short, thus lack of time to work on Tales project... However, during artist's block... I may switch to working on Tales project so no promises... If I can, I'll update!
With that, that's all for this week! Before ending off, the anxiety I felt kinda ruined my mood in updating Yujin... Sorry for this 'mood-down' problem...-_- I should be fine after Monday(depending on the results)... See ya in the next post!
This is Will signing off, Ja ne~
Dark~
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