A broken heart... With a new TD to cheer me up!

It's been a while since I updated this blog... So far, my studies are still fine with a few difficulties here and there. (Well, what's life if it is smooth sailing?) Basically, I'm somewhat doing fine with my studies. Today's post is as what the title said. It all began yesterday... When my teacher required to see me regarding something... As a negative person, I took it the wrong way, thinking a lot of possible problems I had such as the recent chemistry test...( I confess... I didn't study much...) This somehow worried me until the next day which is today. The heavy, suffocating feeling only ended when the teacher told me his purpose to see me... And, that is my relationship with my classmates... I can admit that my interaction with my classmates isn't good... Why?- You may ask...Well, I can give one simple answer; our interests do not match... Their likes are different from mine... How they handed stuff is also different from mine... With different interests, it is hard to get along... I will try but the awkwardness in the air is hard task to deal with...

With that issue brought about, I started to question myself about friendship again and felt that... Fate sometimes really is a joke... It wasn't easy for me to find a friend I could talk with but due to circumstances, we could hardly see each other since we are in different classes, different levels... Next, my ex-classmates that I once considered as friends were having dinner today... Having the new phone, I could use whatsapp. I was happy at first but now, I wished I could shut it down... It seemed that I am still in a delusion... Friendship I see in animes and mangas are nothing but fantasies... Though I am in the group, apparently, I'm like air, no one see me... Even if my existence faded... No one knows... It is really a sad thing but when I think about it... It's kind of my fault for expecting too much and deluding myself in fantasies that were never going to happen to me... Maybe to others but not me... Sometimes, you just got to take the initative because no one going to do that to you. And that's how I got hurt in the process in believing I can test friendship by seeing whether they notice this invisble friend that was sitting at a corner, waiting for someone who truly notice her existence. I felt like crying but realised it was joke since I didn't cry when my grandfather passed away yet I am going to cry because of such a trival stuff? I'm really a selfish person, huh? Only caring for myself and not others... I wonder why my body reacted that way...Sigh...

Pushing aside the gloomy stuff, today's the day the two new cardfight vanguard trial decks (TD) are released in my country! (For those who do not know...) Cardfight Vanguard is a trading card game, in short, TCG where at least only 2 players are needed. I'm excited how this new TD will help me!  

Table in a mess while constructing my new deck...

Cover of the new TD!- Weird that it is Kai and not Ishida Naoki...

Dark~ (Such a matter is bound to happen so what matters is how I deal with it!)