[Updates?]Long(and emotional) post ahead

It's been a while.
Many things have happened(since my last post)
And, it's already 6 weeks into my internship; another 14 weeks to go- You can see how much I wish for its end(for now...)

Internship...

I wouldn't say I hate it(my current internship job) but it's just that it's kinda... How do I say this?- Can't really say boring cos I got a task to make an android app but I'm finding it hard to learn or rather understand cos the language is slightly towards a higher level than Arduino...
It just isn't straight forward like Arduino and the samples aren't helping either; they are just making me worse by confusing me more-.-

And it doesn't help when my sleep schedule is slightly ruined recently(I'll get into that ltr...) My mornings are a constant battle between me falling asleep and trying to understand Android... It gets very tiring mentally, tbh...
In addition, I'm not the type that likes to stare at computer for long but the nature of my work needs to- kinda chose a wrong job... Then again, there wasn't much of a choice; I was just happy that there was even a offer... Feel that I may end up making this same mistake in my job finding.......(>_>)

However, I won't say I didn't learn anything; I learn quite a fair bit in the robotics field which I'm trying to specialise in though maybe the programming part isn't my cup of tea/coffee?(but I think to specialise in robotics field, you pretty much need to be a programmer.... Sigh...)

Diverting a little:
maybe I like seeing things I can make/create to move; like animation and robots, thus the ambition to either be an animator or an engineer in the field of robotics but since I'm more towards art, I prefer doing animation...
But lately... I realise that maybe just having interest isn't enough...You need talents and skills... And I can't help feel that I don't have any or at least not good enough to complete or stand out to go into the career paths I want to go...
As such, I feel quite demoralised, esp during my middle and high school time; whenever I see good arts produced by ppl younger than me... Can't help feel inferior... There was a moment I just thought of quitting drawing altogether...
But, I couldn't; not when I am having fun, just drawing, doodling~ I suppose from then, I just think of drawing as a hobby and give up being an animator... And now I'm having the same problem with my ambition to be an engineer in the robotics field... Sigh... I feel I am never special/outstanding in any areas; just an average person whom will ended up like those office workers, doing mundane jobs...

Okay, I think I've rambled a lot of my own self-esteem and I doubt anyone want to know(^^;) Moving on, I will post some art updates before getting into another personal story(feel free to skip~)

Art Updates

Matsuura Kanan-10/2/17

Deviantart | Pixiv

^This is my first time making a GIF and I learned a lot; such as it is image format and not video format(surprisingly 0.0)

Happy belated birthday, Kanan Chan!!! I had to delayed her work for about a week cos of something unexpected happened(more details ltr) 

I quite love how the colours turned out for her Happy Party Train outfit:) Tho I may need get a new colour for her hair; it is almost the same colour as the outfit when her hair should be of darker blue and towards purplish too...

I drew her huge improvement from 9th place in 2nd center single poll to 1st in 3rd center poll; in both polls, I voted for her and I was really happy she got the center in the 3rd poll!!!(>^<)

As usual, I did SIF scouting and... To get the same Kanan R cards in 2 scouts and from Kimi No Kokoro Kagayaiteru Kai... Dk if she's angry of the delay or cos I didn't draw her in 1st single outfit...

 

Oh and here's a small shrine for her:

Valentine ChikaRiko Ver 2017

Deviantart | Pixiv

A rushed work with sudden muse~ Compared to last year, I think I improved a lot but still not there yet... Happy belated Valentine day:)

HonoUmi Fan-manga(updates?)

Still working on it... High chance I will finish in my birthday month(and plan a birthday upload? Hmm...) Considering that I'm trying to make it into a book;)

Personal stuff(feel free to skip)

So... I've kept talking about how this 'unexpected thing' happened and many things are affected and blah blah... Well, I wasn't sure whether to talk about it(I didn't do it in any of my social media) since I didn't really want the matter to be known to many... But felt like talking a bit about it to kinda pen down my feelings...

It happened on last week; on a Thursday night.
I was kinda delighted to know there was only one more day to the end of the week and even better, there was Aqours Nico Nama on the next day; something to look forward to after work! But those thoughts were crushed when that call came...
An unexpected call from my father to get ready to go to my grandmother's house cos... My grandmother seemed may not make it, from my aunt whom stayed with my grandmother... I was shocked and quickly stopped what I was doing(which I think was using the com, surfing the net or something) and got ready...
The car ride was filled with calls between my father and my aunt while I was trying to get in contact with my sis whom went out with her friends.
Once reached, we straight went to see her and... She was there, all pale without a life... I don't know how to describe the feels; it was just hollow...
While I knew my grandmother wasn't in her best of health that sometimes I felt it was tortuous for her to live in that condition yet at the same time, at least she was still there to response and you can hear her voice but at that moment- at her death bed, she was gone; no longer able to response to you and all you can do(deceive) was calling out to her, hoping for a respond that you will never get...

After that, the funeral lasted like 5 days which was what upset my sleep routine as I didn't sleep in the first night while folding death notes until the next day and slept like ard 4-5h before doing the same thing again, minus the not-sleeping-part cos I couldn't do that for consecutive days...

At the fifth day, that was when her body will be sent to cremation- last day to see her ever and during the time of sending her off, I cried silently, halfway on the road... It came naturally which shouldn't be a surprise but it was to me...

I think I did mention in a post long ago here that I felt like I don't cry like normal ppl; I didn't cry on my grandfather's funeral that I thought maybe I was just too emotionless or something yet I did, even if it was a brief moment...
I thought just maybe cos during my grandfather's death, it was too sudden- It happened on a school day in the morning when my mind was filled with work to do for the project and then the call came... So sudden that maybe I couldn't react at all?

Regardless, the death cannot be brought back and there is no turning back... So, look forward; cos life still goes on with our memories of them locked in our hearts! RIP my grandparents!

Afterwords

This sure is a long(and emotional) post. Think I will need a break from blogging...?(Nah, I will do another update next wk cos of the wonderful events;) 

Until then, this is Yaiji signing off!

Yaiji~

[Updates]Rice goddess' bday & CNY~

It's long overdue but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANAYO!

Rice Goddess' Bday~

Pixiv Link | Deviantart Link

I also built a small shrine for her; you can see it in the Pixiv Link above:)

^Realised I never did one for her last year...

As always scouted on her bday and...At the first time, I got a R version of her-.- But decided to try again; since I got a spare green ticket and...

 Got a SR Nico^^ (You can see the full result here: Twitter Link)

CNY(Rambling a bit*)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

This week is also Chinese New Year(aka. CNY) and it served as a long week for me(to rest). 

If you do follow me on twitter, I was sick with a stomach upset(from eating wrong food...) like last week and thought it was fine this week till it was still bad that I had to get a MC-.-

However, the worst wasn't to go see a doctor; but how I couldn't get a good sleep from the occasional stomach upset in the middle of the night that going to work really sux badly... I even got a bad headache from the lack of sleep during work(but luckily, it's ard the end of work~)

You can say it's a horrible time for me and it's only just like 2nd/3rd week of my internship... The future doesn't look too bright and I still got like 4 mths more to go... Then again, this could be the storm before the calm?(I know I switched the wording to fit the situation, haha~)

Currently, recovered from the stomach upset but now suffering from a slight flu...(Bad time to be sick; esp on CNY...)

Back to the topic of CNY, though this break may seem long, it is the only break before the next one in April... In other words, Feb and March are pure working months(excluding the weekends...) which kinda sux but... The events in these 2 months make it worth looking forward to!

Events in FEB and MARCH~

While I've my doubts whether S'pore will get it but judging from last year's, I felt there's a high chance there is and YES, S'pore is confirmed to have Aqours' First Live Viewing!!!- Banzai!!!(\>0</) High likely to go fro 2 days since the days are in the weekends:) Though RIP $$$... 

And the First Live stuff I pre-ordered would not go to waste too(Hopefully, it would come soon!!!)

As for March... Beside being my Birthday month(FYI), there's the 2nd round of LLSS Kuji~ (I got a feeling I may miss the start again...) Hopefully, it won't end up bad like the 1st round; aiming for Prizes A, B and C(You can see the prizes below)

Though I must say, LL kuji really love towel or something~

Just realised the keychain is Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare and that RIKO-/// Don't mind getting her!!!(But out of random boxes....Sigh...) 

Then again, tbh, prizes B to J are all awesome, regardless of the characters(at least for me~) I'm kinda weak towards Mirai Ticket's costume or rather I've a thing for suits and blazer-like clothing~

PS: Maybe I shouldn't have too high hopes or I will fall hard in disappointment-.-

Work Updates

Somewhat losing my motivation that I've been procrastinating to finish the HonoUmi fan-manga(haha...) Right now, it is in the stage of shading/colouring which is like a love-hate relationship for me; I love shading since it gives life to the work yet at the same time, it's boring to shade without drawing...Sigh- Pretty much why I always couldn't finish any of my manga... 

^Rest assure; though it's depressing, I will finish it! Just that it will take long cos I'm really sub-consciously not working on it but on new works(which is another reason why I got so many WIPs...)

To make up for it, here's a little something I did for the fan-manga:

Deviantart Link

The background seems so plain-.- Tried to improve it:

I should stick to working on the background in the same medium... Bad edit-.-

Aside from this, here's another work/wip:

Most likely colouring(if I gt the time tho...) 

Who will you choose?(personally, I chose female MC so yup~) 

The proportion for this work isn't very well done-.- Plus I did it when I was sick which I should refrain from doing that; super frustrating to not be able to draw what you want and to add on the fact you r sick... It's horrible...

Afterwords

That is all for now; though I'm still in the learning stage of my internship, it's still tiring to wake up early and go home late, esp for late sleeper like me-.- Plus sometimes it gets stressful when I can't produce the result wanted by my Supervisor... But I will get by, somehow^^; After all, I'm already more than halfway into my Uni education; a bit more to graduation and I will reach that finishing line!

Until then, this is Yaiji signing off!

Yaiji~ 

[Updates] First week of work...

This week is the start of my internship and I must say, it's more draining than going to school...(not just from waking up early but also from going home late...)
While there's no stress in exams and quiz, there's a little stress of the new things to try(tho a little excited too; thinking of the possibilities of applying these new things to fyp~)

However, that wasn't how it felt at the start; I was assigned reading tasks to get familiar with the technologies that will be used and of course it was interesting to read up!
But without able to try and apply what I read, it was hard to grasp... In a way, it was kinda boring in the first few days(that I ended up learning some python programming skills while waiting for my Supervisor to assign more works...)

^I understand that I should have approached my Supervisor for more hands-on work than wait but seeing as my Supervisor is busy, I didn't. Maybe it's luck that on the 3rd day, he actually gave me some tools to tinker with to try and apply what I had read!
And that's when the stress comes in yet at the same time, the excitment when able to apply the concepts read!:)

For now, still in the learning stage before helping out with the project to do~
(While I like diligence, my weekends are my breaks; I don't think about work during those periods- I prefer not to so as to give my body and mind a breather...)

Artwork updates...

HonoUmi fan-manga

Mentioned in previous post; there is a need to see if I can cope with the work load before deciding if I can continue working on the HonoUmi fan-manga...
Judging from 1st week, it should be fine but the progress will be very slow cos while there's no homework after work, my mind and body are quite exhausted after a day of work(maybe for now cos not used to yet...?)
I'm gonna try working on one page a week- there're about 10 pages left so hopefully, I can get it done, latest by the end of Feb^^;

Moving on, recently, had been working on present-future ver of Pokemon SM characters!
Think I briefly mentioned(in my last few posts) that I'm thinking of working of a short fan-manga of Lillie's return(after 5 yrs~) Even tho I'm not done with HonoUmi's><

Pokemon SM present-future proj

These are the few designs I've made so far:

Female MC/Moon(First one cos I choose her)

Gladion(His future self seems too mature for 5 yrs, haha;
then again puberty can hit hard~)

Hau- Quite like how his future self design comes about^^

Professor Kukui(no change cos I doubt he change much in 5 yrs~)

LILLIE!!!(Her designs are the least change;
only change could be how she's more fired-up and confident as a trainer!)

There's one char to go(the male MC...)- Tbh, I'm not sure to include him inside since the main lead is the female MC... But I've an interesting idea tho, with him and Moon as parallel beings with each other; an idea formed from 2 certain locations in the game...

Dk if anyone interested, here's an initial idea of Moon's present and future ver:

 ^doesn't diff much from the current one; I see the style of jacket-tied-to-waist as something Moon future self will be like, considering she's the Champion(Did you see how cold that freaking mountain is???! Yet the clothes available for purchase(for female) are either sleeveless or short sleeve!!! Bless the female MC, wearing a tank top with shorts, running to the Pokemon league entrance... And to defend her title on top of a mountain...-.-)

The goggles were a debate whether to add in- in the end I replaced with a scarf on her neck instead~
Maybe goggles designed for the male MC instead...?o.o

Sneak preview?- One more day to her bday...;)

Already drafted out her fanart; gng work on it tmr after work(that is if I'm not too tired...^^;)

You can see the sneak preview here:)

Afterword

Pretty much that's it and I'm likely to update less; workload could be temporarily small but regardless, it's really draining and I only have like 2 days from weekends to 'rest'(still nid to do an online mod that I registered-.-) 

Until next time, this is Yaiji signing off!

Yaiji~ 

[Updates] Break's ending... Happy Birthday, Dia!

Another day to go before my break ends...
Unfortunately, my HonoUmi fan-manga isn't done yet; halfway done... Got to see how's the work load for tomorrow before deciding if I can continue working on it...

Before I ramble on my thoughts abt tmr, here's the fan-works for a certain penguin student council's bday~

Kurosawa Dia-1/1/17

You can see the compilation in the Pixiv Link.

Made 2 cos the manga I made was a fail; ruined both characters esp Mari... Need more practices... Hence, tried to make another fan-work for her but apparently, I really am bad at drawing Dia too...

I guess that's not the case tho; as seen here

^Great thanks to her!!!:)

And so, right here even tho it's quite late, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DIA!!!^^

LoveLive Sunshine Kuji

This is LLSS' first kuji with the highest price A as a 170cm long towel I think while 2 different shirts as prizes B and C(which is what I'm aiming for) Subsequently, prize D is character towel but much shorter than A's(I think)

Lastly, we have the keychains for prizes E and F. Last prize which is if you buy the last few tickets of Kuji, this prize is automatically given to you, is another towel I think but of the same length as that of D but with all members of prize D designs

Tbh, I would say I rather get prizes B and C than A; they r much useful... And comparing B and C, B is definitely the better design.   

And so, I'm glad some local anime shops I know of, sell this. But the sad thing was the shop selling it, started the kuji a few days ago before I knew of it; it was sent to my mail abt it but I didn't check and... Feel irritated to know of ppl already won off the B prizes from twitter and FB-.-

In one round of Kuji, there are about 3 B and 3 C. Holding onto the hope that there r still some left, I went to the shop during the weekends and...

The person before won off the last B...*Cries* But there were still C so I held onto the hope and try my luck by playing 2 times, and...

Got 2 Es...-.- Sigh... My luck really sux and maybe I wasn't meant to get it cos the person after me, got C... 

And then later, while walking, saw another anime shop which happens to sell this kuji and looking at the prizes left... STILL GT B AND C!!!

I decided to try my luck with another 2 tries till the person said can get membership with a min $30 spend and ended up playing thrice... And...

Gt 1D, 1E and...1F... Sigh... Oh well, maybe I really wasn't meant to get it...

Here's the prizes I won:

Of course I choose Riko for D~

 And the result of the random boxes(I held onto my last hope, hoping for my fave char keychains...)

No Riko but at least gt Chika!!! Maru and Mari chan really loves me, huh? I swear I've a tendency to get Mari, Hanamaru and Ruby chan; much like how I've the tendency to get Rin, Hanayo and maybe Maki/Nozomi...(No luck with the 2nd years which I always fell in love with>///<)

Very tempted to trade off to get Riko keychain but on second thoughts, they r cute(tbh) even if they r not my fave~

RIP my $$$... Time to save up for next Kuji in March and their first live viewing(if there is...)

This is the 2nd Kuji prizes preview in March- much better than First~

Afterword

Tomorrow will be the start of my internship- no idea how will it be; a mixed feeling of anxiety and excitment, hopefully I can sleep^^; 

That said, mentioned earlier, if the work load isn't that bad and I still have energy after work, I will continue working on the HonoUmi manga and LL random doodles series though I'm actually thinking of doing another fan-manga of Pokemon SM...

The after-game feel is too strong for me and like many things, it does not hit me until like a few weeks ltr which sux badly...

It's like reflecting how if someone close to me, left, I will only feel the effects of loss after a period of time, and by that time, it is too late...

Oh and again depending on my workload, I may put this blog on hiatus. 

Until next time, this is Yaiji signing off:)

Yaiji~

[Update] HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017!!! Happy 4th Anniversary!!!

Happy New Year, everyone!!! 明けましておめでとう！新年快乐！

Another year gone and another year here; 2016 sure seemed long when it started but now it just left with a blink of an eye & here, I am in 2017!- And the same feel of the long year starting and I'm sure I'm gonna feel it's actually short when I blog again on the 1st of Jan of 2018(I think I'm getting ahead of myself, haha~)

2016 was the time I was in my 2nd year till I became 3rd year I am now! And in a few more days, I will be starting my internship which while it's exciting but it's also kinda... Scary?
The unknown has always held anxiety within me yet it also contains the excitement I long for from the mundane Uni life I've been studying for the past 3 years; I mean internship is pretty much the time you can apply all those 3 years you've studied so far and to see them bear fruits that are either tasty or rotten... Well, only time can tell(once I start my internship...)

Moving on, how did everyone celebrate the last day of 2016 and the first day of 2017?

For the last day of 2016, I 'counted down' at home(cos I'm the type that prefer the warmth from home than from crowd~) with a can of beer; my last can of beer in 2016:) while working on a birthday work for a certain penguin student council president(And just finished tho it sux badly...-.-)

As for today, was just working on the birthday art until now. I'm so tempted to just crush it with how badly I had drawn the 2 characters-.-
Here's the link: Instagram
I will post again when I hav sent it for scanning; the words are practically can't be seen and read due to the pathetic quality...
The art notes written in the link description- recommend to read it, esp the part of my original idea; I like it a lot but dk how to express...

UPLOADS...

Here's a little new year gift:

Deviantart

^Added the background~
Here's the completed pieces of the cover art of the front and back covers:)

Currently, I'm still working on the manga which I don't know if I can finish before my break ends(which I hope I do...)

I may post another sneak preview(the last one) with some shots of the manga pages to give a feel~

Stay tune~

Next, this is something I did out of boredom:

My first unboxing video and well, the response is great in Insta that I'm surprised; I thought the captions seem lame, haha^^; But the captions really took some time, esp with the timing...

Lastly, a summary of art to end 2016:

Template used from here

Had a hard time finding artwork did from May and Nov... May was when I opened the request box which I doubt I wan to use them... As for Nov, it was near the end of semester where reports, projects are near due while there are presentations and exams to prepare; it was one heck of a busy month for me(let alone draw) but a great sigh of relief once it's over as I enjoyed over my December:)

Something impt I actually forgot-.-

Not sure why or maybe the stress from Uni got me as I reached 2nd year, I actually forgot the 3rd Anniversary for this blog-.-

Even better, it was a special post of being the 250th post yet I forgot... Then again, that time I really was under stress from performing bad on my 2nd yr's 1st semester; you can see the previous post here and the 250th post was when I rambled a lot on it. 

Truthfully, I was worried for that semester esp how I performed in my CAs... Guess hard work & perseverance are the ways to go!- And they are still great 'tools' I keep tight as I trek through the thick and dense forest of another 1.5 years to go in my University life!

Think I just side-tracked; I also missed Yujin's 4th Anniversary yesterday... While it's late, happy birthday/anniversary, Yujin!!!><

There's nothing much to revamp; all I can give is to continue blogging(stay faithful)~

And so, until next time, this is Yaiji signing off~

Sharing an awesome song before ending: 

Yaiji~