My drastic week and the drawings drew between the moments of the week...

Hi there. Once again, I am back to pen some thoughts down. Okay then... Apparently my first few days of last week if I'm not wrong, did not go right... First, I fail to bring the right materials to school and ended up, needing to share with someone... Next, I fail to hear the right instructions to do my work which the teacher was going to go through... Lastly, the questions my teacher assigned for me to do... I did a wrong question, costing my marks... To sum up, that week of mine sucked badly... Sigh... However, I think there's the phase called 'after a storm comes the calm', my days after that horrible week gotten better. An example would be the screw up I had with the wrong question that I attempted did not hurt too much; I still maintained my A grade though if I had did the right question, maybe the marks I got would be better...

Following that, during that week, my classmate and my teacher told me my SGC had been rejected... As I had made the amends and re-sent it, I thought I was rejected a second time... That day, I felt terrible...I thought, 'what did I do wrong again' and decided to ask my friend for help... However, it turned out that what my classmate and my teacher were referring to was my previous rejection... When I had the guts to check my SGC, it turns out that it was still in midst of verifying... That time, I did not know whether to heave a sigh of relief cos at one hand, it was nice to know I wasn't rejected a second time yet on the other hand... I still might be rejected a second time... In the end...It turns out... (DRUMROLL please) My SGC was accepted!-This time, I can really relax now! No more rejection now! Haiz...

Well then, that's about my 'awesome' academic side of my life. On to my 'mundane' interest side of my life! With the enforcement of not watching anime until end of year, I draw instead... I did two one-shots which probably do not make sense unless me, the artist, explained and two short scenes. Without further ado, here you go:

TITLE: Truth That Can't Be Told...

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Page 2- End...

Artist's notes: 
This may seem confusing like the truth said here. However, it is simply a scene where the main character has a secret that can't be told due to reasons said in this one-shot. Though the main character still confide to his best friend and that's the story or should I say scene(?) I was trying to portray... It is simply part of a scene of one my planned fanfic that is yet to be put into a story... 

TITLE: The Most Important

Page 1

Page 2

Page 3-End

 Artist's notes:
 Okay... So, this is a much confusing one-shot than the first one... Be patient and let me explain... First of all, before I explain (please refrain from killing me), I didn't intend for this one-shot to be like this but due to the lack of time and my drive to finish this, I didn't have the time to research some scenes that are hard to draw... Thus, I rushed it and ended it fast...

Okay then, what you've been waiting for: the back story of this is that Yuki, the girl(if you don't think she's a girl, I don't blame you; I suck at drawing girls...), fell due to unknown reason(up to readers' imagination). She fell and the guy, Shiro(sorry that I kept using the same name but just keep in mind this is a different guy altogether...) noticed and shouted for her... The tiny voice at the back of Yuki's head( whether whose voice is it...I did not decide it...) tries to get Yuki to wake up. And, Yuki see the friends she had and then her most important which is the key to her awakening...

The intended story was to be about a scene where the main character attacked the girl with all she(yes, the main char should be a girl but like I said I suck at it, I hate drawing girls) got so as to set the girl back to normal as the girl was bainwashed with a microchip that is small... Upon releasing the girl fell from the attack, she called after her to get her back but obviously it wouldn't be easy with the enemies lurking near and the rat race to get the girl started as they chased after her... Meanwhile the tiny voice at the back of the girl's head spoke and the girl sees all her loved ones with the main character as the most important. This woke her up to get her up to help the main character.

The story is once again another scene that is going to happen in one of my fanfic...

The next two are scenes or drawings depending how you want to see it.

Random drawing of a male character...

Falling scene

If you have read my other previous posts, you more or less realize the one-shots I drew are closely related to the fanfics I am going to write... Sometimes, how much the mind can offer is not same when you draw or write them out... I think I will upload these to my deviantart account. With that, I'll end off now with two nice songs:

To Aru Kagaku Railgun S ending: Stand Still by Yuka Iguchi

 
Highschool DXD season 2 opening: Sympathy by Larval Stage Planning

Dark~

Sleepless nights... Rejection... They just made my week sucks...

Hello again. I am back blogging to pen my thoughts down. For this week, I had been having sleepless nights since I just doze off right after I hit the sack- You can see how tired I was... For some reasons, homework are piling up for me... At first, I wondered why was I burning midnight oil just to finish these assignments and was freaking tired the next day in school when I did not have this problem the last term... Later, I found out that I had been so used to working during the holidays with no assigned work and the freedom to plan my time for studying, I put all my study plan first before my school work... And now?- I am having a hard time trying to get use to it and with time not by my side, I don't have much time to scold myself or anything but to move on and work out a study plan fast! My progress in studying is really slowing down!- That scares me a lot! Ugh... Will! Pull myself up and get working! It's the last lap! Don't stop now!(I'm getting mentally ill...)

Moving on, today I experienced the feeling of...REJECTION! Ngh...A knife just stabbed me at my heart upon the rejection...Before you made any wild guesses, it's not what you think; it's simply a rejection of a work I did... At this point, you'll be giving me the look and saying how naive I am... If you had read my previous other post, then yes, I am very naive to the point I don't even know how does 126(go figure yourself what it means...) even work until now but still feel bad just reading about it... Reason for my naivety?- No idea but I had the idea it is due to my ignorance... I tend to ignore so as to escape from cumbersome matters... One such example would be to look down while walking so as to not meet the gazes of the people I know... Sigh... I think I am straying off... Back to the topic, it hurts to see a work I did being rejected since it means that my work sucks... Literally... Indirectly, it implies that I sucks too... Sigh... Hope the correction made will not earn me a second rejection; my heart isn't able to handle too much of that... I wonder if this feeling of rejection at work is the same as that in love...

Lastly, I just realised that I can't maintain eye contact with someone for long... Shy, perhaps? Haiz... Maybe I should do some researches on this problem...

With that, I will be signing off now! Till the next time, ciao~

Dark~

Praises

Praises... They are words said by people to point out the good points of others. Naturally, anyone will like it. I am no exception but there is a little part of it that I still hate or rather fear. I tend to be a negative person; not giving myself enough credit... That's why I always take people praises as a form of gauge of how well I am doing. However, this is where the problem comes in... When people don't praise me, I take it as what I am doing still need more work, thus work even harder to get the results I wanted but...When people praise me, I started to feel that my hard work paid off and get a bit arrogant- And that's what I fear and also hate the most! I don't want to feel that way but somehow, when I am praised, I just feel that way and I hate myself for it... Sigh... Sometimes, I felt like telling my teachers not to praise me but that will be a bit weird...

Carrying on, if I feel arrogant, I'm worried that I get too confident in myself and let all my hard work goes to waste, in thinking I am doing very well in that particular subject but in truth, I'm sure it is just because the paper is easy... There's no way, me, an average student would be in the top b'cos I always screw up in the end... So, praises are nothing but an illusion- I want to tell myself that yet a part of me can't since it is not totally an illusion... It's true that I had improved a lot from a E grade to a B grade; a 3-grades-jump but I know myself that this isn't my best; I can do better... However, with all those praises... I can't help, being deluded by them... Sigh...

I know I am rambling but after this Friday's Chemistry lecture in which the HOD talked about the cohort's SA2 Chemistry results, the HOD mentioned those who gotten an A and a B... My name was there so it was a honor to be mentioned but I can't help feel shy about it and worst, me and one of my classmates were specially mentioned due to the huge improvement from the Promo Exams to SA2...I felt like digging a hole and bury myself away...

In addition, besides the fact that praises bring out the worst in me, it may lead to jealousy...Of course not to me but rather the others b'cos I have experienced such position where you heard the teachers praising the other students but not you... This isn't the first time but I guess I am a little competitive since I had somewhat pinpoint my own rivals and always look out for their marks when the teacher show the class' results... Haiz...     

Lastly, I'm worried I can't maintain my results... It will be a great disappointment like my physics that has dropped from a D grade to a S grade- a 2-grades-fall...Sigh... 

In conclusion, I like praises as much any other people and see them as the only thing that could convince me that I did well... At the same time, there's this fear that those praises would lead to my success to go up my head... In a way, praises are like a form love-hate thing for me; It's a very irritating thing yet at the same... It's what that tell me the good points that I fail to see when doing my work...

I hate hearing them 

Yet I still need them

It's a frustrating matter 

But that's how I am,

A being with contracting desires

Who choose to believe in them

Even though they are nothing

But sweet coated words...

>This is a short poem that I thought of while blogging (right now)... It does not rhythm well and the words used do not really reflect much of the truth... Just something I happen to be able to do (right now) With that, I'll end off now and get back to studying! Seems like I had once again ramble a lot... Sigh... Till then, ciao~

Dark~

The feeling of guilt...

Hello once again. I am blogging again to pen down some thoughts... This time I am talking about the aftermath of my SA2. Though I've not gotten all papers back, I, who took the exams, do not need to really see the results to really know how well I'll do... Like I said in the previous post, I gave up one of my subjects and now, every time I have lessons on that subject, I can't help feel guilty...

Reasons? First, I know I did not prepare well enough... Next, I let my subject teacher down...And, lastly... I just went against my own motto of trying my best in everything I do... Sigh... Even though I got back two of the papers that I am confident I would do decent on, I know the results I gotten were not my best; I could do better but I...I don't know when did I stop trying my best... Maybe I am getting worn out but that's an excuse... It's the last lap already...I have to give my best shot and then enjoy in the end. 'Isn't that the end I want?' I asked myself that... I think I still am weak...Letting my emotion take over me... Right now, I could only await for my other papers back and hope for the best...

It's weird that I know that I would not be happy with the outcome yet I still choose to give up... People had always said giving up, running away are so much easier than facing it... That's why sometimes I just choose the easy way out even though consequences will haunt me later which I am now experiencing... Sigh... As much as I felt guilty about my attitude, I need to pull myself and start working again! Never lose heart and carry on doing my best!- That's something I decided to follow after my SA1 which I did my worst... With the short time left, I'll do my best and live my life to the fullest!

With that, I'll sign off now! It's nice to write down my feelings and thoughts to let me reflect! I'll end off with two music video, My Hands by Leona Lewis and New World by Charice. Both are the English theme songs of FF XIII and FF XIII-2 respectively. Both are awesome songs one should not miss out if you're a hardcore FF fan! Some short info: if you don't know, there is another sequel after FF XIII-2, called Lightning Returns and come out in 14 Feb 2014! It's a PS3 game and not PS4 so rejoice PS3 user! Can't wait for it's release! Till then, ciao~

My Hands by Leona Lewis
 

New World by Charice

Dark~         

One-shot manga drawn

Hello again! As said before, I'll be uploading some one-shot manga I drew while bored from studying. Well then, here you go:
Before you read, some info:

TITLE: The price to pay
CHARACTERS: -Tamura Sakura
                           -Sawada Geo
                           -Takashi Shiro
                           -Kuro 
OTHERS: -Working Device
                  -Shiro's Device; Aestron

BACKGROUND INFO: Story set on the idea of the existence of magic and mages, and that magic is part of people's daily lives that without it, the people may be able to adapt... Unfortunatly, in the near future, a virus will infect all who practise magic and slowly killing them... To prevent this crisis, all mages have their memories associated with magic to be erased, whether they like it or not... Because of this, only a few mages were left to be the few remaining mages to protect this world...

Page 1

Page 2

ARTIST'S NOTES:
This 2-pages one-shot manga was drawn in response to one of the scenes I thought of, for one of the MGLN fanfics that I had planned out... The background info is similar to the plot of the fanfic.

Basically, Sakura and Shiro are like a couple but because of that virus, Shiro did not have a choice but to reset her memories and as well as his friends like Geo and chose to be one of the few mages left to help this world, thus the reason for the 'work' there... To do that, he underwent some alterations to first be able to use a magical device and next, be an emotionless being(when the device activated)... Sakura, who forget everything, didn't know and neither did Geo, hence the confession thing happened with Sakura giving Geo a chance and Shiro listened to the whole thing... Kuro is like a small voice in Shiro's head that talks to him when needed to renew his resolve and keep him sane...

That's about what this one-shot manga is trying to say... This idea comes to me when thinking about how a person's sacrifice for another, was never known to the the person whom the person sacrificed for... I like this type of action, not because I'm a sadist but the fact that I want to have that kind of strength; the resolve to be able to sacrifice anything for the sake of someone... About the artwork...I am a bit lazy to add the shadow... The confession part is a new experience for me to draw in which I found easy to imagine but hard to draw it out...The hugging part was the worst, following the girl's hair...(I really am bad at drawing girls...Sigh...) The manga was kind of rush since I think it should be 3 pages long but in the end, I cut many parts to make it 2 pages...Once again, lazy to draw more... Quality of the photo of the manga was bad because I took them at night...Sorry about that...

Moving on to the last one-shot manga that I'll upload!

TITLE: The hand that could not reach

ARTIST'S NOTES:
This is my first time colouring a manga with my copic markers... It wasn't well done with the colours being a bit unmatching...Even so, it's a good experience of how colouring a manga with copic markers is! About the story...It's as the title said, the main character want to reach out to his loved one but can't because...(that's up to the viewers to think! I'll not say much) All in all, this is another scene from one of MGLN fanfics that I've planned; it's different from the one I mentioned above...

That's about the 2 one-shot manga I did while bored... The manga I did are based on the scenes I intending to include in my fanfics... Wanted to draw Fate and Nanoha as the characters in the manga but...On second thoughts...I had enough of drawing them in the Project-BDay; drawing them a second time... I've uploaded these two manga to deviantart! You can find me as shade1995!

With that, that's all now! I'll end off with a sharing of a beautiful song I found not long ago!

Song:  Exec_Cosmoflips by Kokia

Till then, ciao~

Dark~