Last post of 2019: Dec Update 2

One last post of 2019 and got about an hour to go; let's keep this short to make it:

First, think this year was a hectic and mentally draining one that I had wanted to quit my job this year but ended up staying for the current project I am working on(which is now a love-hate thing...)

That said, I believed it was an accomplishment to be staying in the job for a year when I had long to quit since last year... I guessed the mindset of giving it chance, became the fuel for me to walk until this far...?

Aside from my work life, my mental health suffered a little due to how upset I was with my job that I felt like life was meaningless but of course I wasn't suicidal...
It was more like a loss of direction of where to go and that if life was just working to death for the sake of living, I rather not live...
However, that was just me being unable to think and see further from my current situation since life was unpredictable; you never know what will happen tomorrow and I guess that's what adds color to life...?

^ That said, I do feel really tired that I just really want to sleep in peace... As such, I became impatient to finish my work so that I can finally rest... But work was never-ending(or else there was no point of me working in the job) so my thinking was just gonna tire me more; especially, when I met with a problem that I can't seem to see the light...
Currently, I'm trying to do my best while at my pace that I don't tire myself out but changing old habits sure take a while to do...Sigh...(Maybe that will be my resolution for 2020)

Despite all these, I think the most important I should first learn was to love myself more than others- which I am slowly trying to accept that if I don't love or trust myself, how would people like and trust me...?

That was my reflection of my personal life of 2019.

Onto art updates:

I had uploaded all inktober works to both deviantart and pixiv.

Next, here's my summary of art of 2019(which I had already uploaded to both deviantart and pixiv as well~)

Template used: link

Works weren't hard to find but were hard to choose which to put since each month has either Aqours or Kukugumi Bday works to choose from for each month...

Lastly, the December work seen in the summary is the chibi versions done of the Aqours 2019 bday art- Will be uploading soon(tho already uploaded to twitter...); can see a preview from my deviantart cover photo;)

That is all for last art update of 2019! Looking forward to how the summary of art for 2020 will look like:)

Before ending, 2019 may not exactly be a good year for me, I think the experiences I gained would serve to build a stronger and resilient me for the years ahead till I find that one reason to live life!

Until next year then!

Yaiji~

PS: This may be my last few posts as I find less motivation to blog- may just come back any time to pen my thoughts but think those times will be lessened more in the years ahead...(I am not gonna close the blog; it's fun and interesting to reread some old posts and revisit those moments^^)

Year's coming to an end... Dec Update 1

To think there are only about 3-4 more weeks to the end of the year, time really flies...

And, here I am, still working at the company that I had ranted so much that I was planning to leave after my sept trip but still stayed...

I did mention once that the project that I am currently working on, seems interesting enough to make me stay...
Initially, the aspect of being able to touch on machine-learning during the project was the driving point... But somehow, that aspect changed much that I was assigned to work on the graphical user interface of the project.

Similar to when I first started working on web programming, it was tough and still is tough since I had zero experience working on it...
However, thanks to the rich documentation and forum available online, it wasn't hard to start working on it(though the amount of variables available can be a handful to look through...)

In a way, while it's tiring; looking at the variables available and choosing the appropriate ones to use, it is fun:)
It brought memories of when I was developing android apps- adding widgets, formatting them while working on the functions that each widget will do upon user inputs like clicking buttons~

That said, designing isn't my forte-.- The fun thing is being able to see & interact with what was programmed!

Considering that the project's coming to an end next year, I think it will be my last project; I don't think programming work life is working out for me... The constant exposure had left me tired of it and hating it sometimes... And that was something I was afraid, when debating whether to pursuing art as a career...
Actually, not just art; anything that I may have interest in, I was afraid that facing them everyday for work would dull my interest in it and slowly turning it to a chore and hating it...

Also, this work life is affecting my mental health a lot...
I felt drained much that I have things I want to do but the motivation is not there...
And, things that I used to enjoy, I'm losing them; Since I started work, I had stopped watching anime much...
And now, I'm actually losing interest in this series that I had followed strongly for the past few years...
It's like I'm losing more and more of myself to the point there is nothing to live for... But I am not suicidal; just living for the sake of living...
Remembered that there was once my friends asked, "Why do you wake up everyday?" and I answered, "To live another day", my answer remained unchanged even now.

Life may seem dark and empty that facing it is a hard, tough and risky task at first glance, first thought. But it is when you go face it, you learn of not just the bad but also the good aspects of life and I think that is something worth facing life for. I suppose it is a driving force for me to continue living my life that may seem pointless now but hopefully, I would find it, the point of life...Someday.

Ok, that was heavy... Somehow, when I started talking about my life, I get sentimental and just started rambling... So moving on to some art updates:

I had uploaded my inktober 2019 works onto my pixiv and started uploading the works onto deviantart in batches(to avoid spamming...) for the month of December!

Currently, working on chibi version of aqours birthday fanart. Thinking of doing chibi versions for kukugumi birthday fanart as well(but got to see my time and motivation drive^^;)

That is about it. I will be doing another update, near the end of month/year!

Yaiji~

PS: work and life had been draining enough that well, November went past without any update from me... And I'm thinking that blogging is becoming a chore; I pen my thoughts more on twitter and instagram...

Back from trip afterthoughts and art updates

Was back from my trip weeks ago and was hit by a load of stuff, thus haven't updated for quite a while.

The trip was like my dk-number-th trip to Japan but still, I never grew tired of going to it as there are always new stuff discovered in every trip!- It's just too big to run out of stuff to explore there!

With the amount of times that I had gone, I felt familiar enough to try go on a solo trip to Japan.

Tbh, this idea of "solo trip to Japan" never crossed my mind until the recent trip... I realized, as long as I am going with people whom don't have similar interest as me, I am always going to end up with regrets of not able to do what I want...
And, maybe that is why I am always gonna come back to Tokyo/Japan since I have 'unfinished business'...
To add on, I may be just too difficult or irrational to go with people since I like to try out stuff; whether is it dumb or just a waste of time...
An example would be how I was thinking of taking the local train from Tokyo to Numazu which takes an additional of around 1h as compared to taking the bullet train. To my family, they all think this is a irrational thinking. But to me, I want to experience it since some LLSS anime fans had said that the train ride passed by some beautiful scenery and well, there is also the point that it's much cheaper than the bullet train by around half price...

I suppose people may call me dumb, retard, loser or whatever they like to call for such thinking... At the end, it's an experience that I want to experience(just once) in my life and most importantly, I am doing what I want, what I chose.- Whether it ended a disappointment like most people would think it is, at least I experienced it while people would just think it is as they expected....

^ Didn't expect to vent/rant so much; was gonna make a small update and talking how I was reading my old posts that I had some good laughs of how I was in the past.
Comparing to the present me, I would say I had grown a little; slightly more open but there are still things that will never change and that is ok- It is who I am and I am just being myself as a human with faults like any other humans have!

I'm glad I didn't restart my blog or I wouldn't have been able to look back and think back of those good and bad times I had since I started this blog, back in my JC2 time!

Some art updates:

I have already finished working LLSS and revue starlight babies and uploaded to deviantart.
Will be doing a video of the works; done in a sketchbook:)
In addition, will also be working on the chibi art of Sept LLSS babies- screwed up and hadn't had the time to work on them-.-

Work had been quite hectic- just glad that I went for the trip to catch a breather or two...

That is all; until next time~

Yaiji~

PS: I am thinking of creating a personal web to put my works like artworks, coding stuff, etc but for now, this is just a dream...

Starting Sept with a hectic work schedule

August ended last week and to think the month seemed long that I can't wait for September to come(mainly cos of my trip)

But now, I wished it didn't ended that fast...

The sudden hectic work schedule hit me hard this week...

Monday came with new urgent stuff for one of the projects that I am working on and afterwards, things went bad b'cos of company restrictions that I had to use my own hotspot to continue working-.-

While my supervisor did try provide a solution for 'my' issue/problem, I really had no idea if it works and trying out after getting many warnings is gonna be so bad if the solution fails and I get another warning- I can't afford to fail anymore which my supervisor don't seem to understand.

^So I rather sacrifice a little; by using my hotspot than risk my stale reputation, caused by tasks assigned by supervisor, whom should have done risk management before assigning(but at this point, I have already lost faith and trust in my supervisor that I am not surprised by this repercussion...)

Next, due to the urgency of the task, I stayed behind longer for two nights so that the program can run more and longer- Tbh, I was quite surprised I was willing to stay/ot since I had already stopped caring much for the job...

I care much for my life outside of work and always tried to make it for my family dinner but b'cos of these tasks, I forsaken them for two days and dang, that feeling sux... And, to add on, I couldn't spend much time with my pet terrapin...

This agony ended when the program is finally done on Friday(but the results aren't fantastic so I guess it's another problem for later...Sigh...)

Besides this, I was dealing with an issue that my colleague has of my department file server- Now that I think back, I wonder why did I help when it isn't really my job nor do I have the time but I helped...
It was quite tiring and stressful that I had no one whom I can turn to for more advice on this. What's worse was that there was no safe net; I must resolve this issue!
I'm just lucky that one of the suggested solutions from the net resolved it...

Lastly, the long awaited stuff for my other side project(assigned to me for good exposure and experience) was finally given to me after much chasing and waiting.
Working on it is the real challenge as I had no prior knowledge nor experience in this. And adding on to the pressure of it being urgent is not helping much... I am hoping much to get this side project to be done before I go for my holidays; at least I can enjoy my holidays in more peace than now...

And, that was my awesome first week of Sept- Now that I have pen down, I'm surprised all these happened over just one week. No wonder work was constantly on my mind- whether was it during lunch time or after work... Even now, it is still on my mind; worrying if I can finish them...

Moving on to a small art update:

Just uploaded all works done from March to August to Pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=76665320

This compilation not only contains the birthday fanarts done for Aqours and Kukugumi but also some doodles done in my mini sketchbook- I will be doing a short video to showcase my sketchbook when it is fully filled~

As mentioned in my previous post, I've already done the Sept babies and will do the uploading during my trip^^

That is all then. Apologies for the long venting of my work life; venting is a form of platform for me to collect my thoughts and let them out while sometimes discovering stuff that I may or may not have think of- You can say it is a build of self-awareness about myself...?

Yaiji~

August Life and Art Updates

Been almost a month since my last post and had been surviving(and maybe slightly better)

Things had been slightly better at work as I got used to more of my supervisor and boss' antics(which still is irritating and hurtful but manageable) and slowly learning different stuff while expanding my horizon...

And, recently, I was kinda assigned a new task to work with my colleagues whom I am more comfortable with and thus, I have decided to try stay until the project is done(which will be around first half of next year). In a way, I found a motivation to stay longer and learn before moving on.

Plus I am going for a trip soon! Hopefully it would be a good break for my body to rest and walk a longer road(at least until the project is over) before deciding the next step.

Onto art updates; 

August babies for both series were quite early- in a way, it was quite tiring to work on both since they have the same bday-.- In addition, the bday of my 2nd bias/fave in Love Live was only 2 days away from them and that makes it even more taxing but it worked out in the end:)

1. [Love Live Sunshine] Takami Chika: Twitter | Instagram | Deviantart
2. [Revue Starlight] Saijo Claudine: Twitter | Instagram | Deviantart
3. [Love Live] Kousaka Honoka: Twitter | Instagram | Deviantart
1. [Special] Speed drawing video: Twitter (Instagram link has it too)

Besides August babies, did an artwork for my fave pair in LLSS; ChikaRiko and for today, 25/8 as it is their bday as a pair!

So far, I have only uploaded onto Twitter and Instagram- Will be doing a scan before posting onto Deviantart!

This year sure is bliss as my fave artist for ChikaRiko, KOUGI sensei, liked my artwork! And, for YohaRiko, SELLEL sensei liked my YohaRiko 31 Moments in both Twitter and Pixiv post~

With August ending, will be compiling all works done since March and upload to Pixiv! September will be the start of a new compilation till next year's Feb!

And, talking about September, just finished all Sept babies' artwork presents in the afternoon!- Am working them early due to my trip in Sept where I will be celebrating both LLSS sept babies' bday during the trip!

Considering the time I return, I may not be able to work on the last Sept baby...

Also, I already did the draft for the October baby as her bday is on the 1st; which is quite close to the last Sept baby's bday-.-(And this is similar to that in August but slightly better, in terms of the buffer time...)

That is about it. 

Think this post is less ranting and venting as I (slowly) come to terms with how work is, with such supervisor and boss.

I really can't wait for my trip!- So much planned that there is a slight fear of it failing yet there's the excitement of going through it as well~

Until next time!

Yaiji~

PS: Huge thanks for all the likes and retweets for ChikaRiko bday artwork!><

July life and art updates

A little vent on life before art updates...

With how my supervisor left, things had been rather suffocating...

Was assigned stuff beyond my job scope and instead of being helpful and understanding, my new supervisor decided to make things worse...

And to think it was just 2 weeks ago since my last post that I vent and thought I could last till Sept... I thought my new supervisor was good and nice in understanding of my capabilities but I was so wrong...

He too wears a mask like anyone in the society... Sigh...

I had always followed my supervisors without much questions because I believed they know the best; in terms of capabilities and the choices available... But how wrong I was, especially with this new supervisor...

I felt betrayed and helpless... Luckily, I have kind and friendly colleagues!
But I don't think I deserve them, considering my personality...

I see asking for help as a display of weakness, especially in today's world where information is easily accessible... Plus the help you asked sometimes reflects how pathetic you're in terms of your intelligence; which people may not show/say it but I'm sure it crossed their minds before(I don't deny that I have thoughts of such before so I can understand...)

^To put yourself in another person's shoes, it is not easy and is definitely not an obligation to the helper yet it is essential for people to understand each other(but not that people really care... Esp in the current society...)

That said, meeting/having such people like my new supervisor is part of life; dealing with such people gonna be a pain and even stressful but I believed it would be an experience and see how I can adapt or how long I can last...

But there is one thing I am clear I won't stay in this job until next year...
I am just unfit for it and that may be just the answer as to why I felt so shitty at work; trying so hard to do job when half the time, I am lost at what I am doing...
Recently, I found that I was interested in the programming part of work and not the research part, and I was given most of the research work... Sigh...

See how things go for the weeks to come before my trip...

Now to the art updates(since my June updates)

June baby:

• Ohara Mari: twitter | instagram | deviantart 

July babies:

• Daiba Nana: twitter | instagram | deviantart
• Tsushima Yohane: twitter | instagram | deviantart
• Tendou Maya: twitter | instagram | deviantart

Will try to do an update every month so as to keep track of each month work^^

And, already done with the August babies:) 

^Considering that they are quite close to each other and in the first week of the month~

Thinking of doing something for ChikaRiko day(which was said to be 25/8; by dengeki G...) 

Got slight inspiration for it but no idea if got the time to work on it... And to think I had a idea for a full u's + aqours work(was inspired by Dengeki G recent aqours special covers...) but not sure if it will ever be realised...

That is all then; until next time- hoping I won't come any sooner(to vent...)

Yaiji~ 

Going through the motions...

Another episode of me venting...

Lately, I felt like I've been going through the motions; wake up and go to work like a routine and hope for the day to end while struggling to work...

Starting I was quite open and welcoming to anything as a new hire and learn. 

But now... I do not know where did all those motivation go... 

Is this burnout despite taking a break around 4 months ago? Or just a lack of motivation that had been going on since I came back from my trip...?

More importantly, did I make the wrong choice in taking up this job/career?

I find that I never did pause to think but continue to move forward as others do; cos it is the normal thing to do, no? And, in the midst of it, I think I had move forward too much that I'm at a loss...

Moving forward without much thoughts worked when one was in school since there were limited routes you can take(in the case of my country). 

But when you are in the working world, nothing is straight forward anymore and worse there is more uncertainty than before...

There is no right or wrong(until you break the law) but there is pressure everywhere that you may lose yourself in the process of trying to be yourself...

Such is how the world is and I wonder what's the meaning of living in this world... Yet there is still some beauty in this world...

Nature has this calming effect that allows me to escape from reality where there is no pressure, no expectations and I am free to be me.

In a way, it's why I like the countryside places(like numazu)- away from humans and closer to nature where it does not judge you for who you are.

No one to set standards that are 'average' and 'normal' but you struggle to achieve it and question your self-worth and point of living...

People said stress is a good motivation but I beg to differ. 

I mean under stress, people do try get things done which is what people want. 

However, is that a good way to make people get things done? Just like scolding a child into doing things or not to do it- it may do the job but is it good?      

Your body is yours. Your mind is yours. Your life is yours. 

Yet with the current world, how confident can you say that your body, mind and life is yours?

As of now, I do not know if I can last until my next trip(in Sept)... Will see how things go... 

Though I believed I'm at my limits; struggling to work while getting the motivation had been giving me headaches- it's like forcing yourself to do something you hate and your body felt betrayed by your mind...

It's also why I had been sleeping late- I do not want the day to end and go to work on the next day... 

I wonder if I can really endure such routine until my trip... July gonna be a nightmare month for me...

That's the end of my venting...

A little art updates:

• Done working on this week's July babies for Kukugumi and Aqours! 
• Will be working on the other July baby of Kukugumi in the following week~ 
• Inspired from this month's Dengeki G's magazine special of Chika cover, will be working on an art of both u's and aqours!- Currently, in the planning stage... 

That's about it.

Until next time, this is Yaiji signing off.

Yaiji

Years with Love Live~

Seeing as people are sharing their stories with Love Live, decided to do it too~

I only started getting to the fandom in 2014... 

I knew about this series/fandom in 2013 but was skeptical about it- wasn't into idols at that time and was more of a fan of action animes like d.gray-man, naruto, etc.

In addition, I wasn't into voice actors as well- I preferred to keep 2D and 3D apart, and believed that I watched anime for anime characters and not the voice behind them...I was quite... Shallow in thinking at that time...

I think it was a combination of factors that made me started going into this series.

It was a little weird but I actually got my first interest in the series after seeing a picture of a despondent Honoka with some deep quote(which actually had nothing to do with the picture if you've watched the show...)

Then, I heard their song when my brother was playing Love Live School Idol Festival(LLSIF). It was good that I actually pestered my brother for the song and series. 

And, even until now, I still love the song. The song was Snow Halation!

The songs were great that I actually started the game(with some influences from my brother), even though I was quite bad at rhythm game; or rather reaction games... 

It was so bad that I can't even play most of the hard songs; normal was my difficulty to go for...

As such, I was actually happy whenever I was able to full-combo(fc) hard songs(that I actually kept posting my fc results in instagram^^;)

Slowly but surely, I was able to move from hard to expert~ And even challenged myself to fc expert songs without perfect locks- did some recordings and posted on Youtube!

^That account that I started in EN held a lot of memories for me so I was really reluctant to quit and delete it... 

But the circumstances of EN server trying to catch up with Jp(in hosting double events) and the combination of other servers into EN server was too much for me... Plus my JP account was actually much better than my EN account... 

The last straw was when I couldn't get into tier 1 for Umi events and then the next double event was actually ChikaRiko event...  

With me playing LLSIF and a bit of my brother's influences, I started watching the anime(both seasons) in 2014 and got more invested in the fandom.

I forgot how but not surprised that Love Live made me interested in the voice actors as well- Love Live is a project that linked both the 2D and the 3D after all~

To understand 3D, one needed to know Japanese- In a way, it motivated me to pick up Japanese language in my University:)

The whole 2015 was me going deeper and deeper into the idol hell, and I strongly believed I can go even more until that dread news in 2016...

μ's ending was something I did not imagine, considering that I only knew them 2 years ago(at that time) 

It was a hard truth to digest yet I don't blame them; they had been doing it for 6 years and they weren't young either... I could only blame myself for not knowing them earlier...

This regret, disappointment made me want to support more for the next thing in this series; which was Aqours.

I knew a lot of fans weren't happy about the new group as it felt like the group was replacing μ's ... But to me, it felt like a chance for the series to continue and I wasn't going to quit as a loveliver!

I preordered Aqours' first single. It was my first time buying something online- was a little worried and scared of the possibilities of getting cheated...

Everything worked out fine~

And to show more support for their first single, I drew them all in their outfits:

It was fun, working on it, one character at a time(and revealing each character in each instagram post~)

Next came the announcement of the anime(during the first single nico nama)! Again, did each character as a countdown to the anime~

And, I would watch the live broadcast of the anime without fail that I acted childish when I couldn't made it for the live broadcast of one of the episode, due to charaexpo 2016...

Besides that, whenever there were streams, I would watch them. I would also look forward to the weekly radio as well!

Following the year of 2017, it was Aqours first live and the announcement of anime 2nd season! 

In addition, I went to Aqours' birth-town, Numazu and straight away felt in love with it! An ideal place for quiet people like me!

Also, it was my first time, participating SIF thanksgiving festival- it was an eye-opener for me, as someone whom had never attend any jp event before!

2017 can be said the peak of my investment to the fandom(>^<)

During the time of support on Aqours, my friend did sometimes ask me if I had forgotten μ's. 

That is something that would never happen;  μ's is μ's, Aqours is Aqours. They may be in the same series, fandom but they are two different groups whom impacted my life in different ways too! And I do continue drawing μ's fanarts from time to time.

That said, I would be honest to say that the lack of μ's contents sometimes makes it hard to support and ended me supporting more of Aqours instead... 

That's why the announcement of μ's being back was great news! 

However, I do not know why but I feel a sense of... Disconnection from Love Live recently; or rather from mid 2018 onwards where my work life started...

It could be due to work or maybe how there weren't much Aqours activities available for overseas fans... 

And the introduction of a new group doesn't help... Once was enough; a second time just made it bad...

As of now, I am still debating whether to get Aqours Club 2019... Seeing as I don't even read the blogs, apply for fan meets nor buy exclusives from the shop, I don't see the worth in buying(-.-)

Although, I would still get the singles; the upcoming 4th center single and (maybe) sif collaboration singles!

Plus I'm going for this year's SIF thanksgiving festival(as well)! 

And that had been my 5 years journey with Love Live as a whole! 

I would say I had a lot of firsts with Love Live and if I had never been into this fandom, I doubt would experience so much and be the person I am now!

To end it:

HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY, LOVE LIVE!

Yaiji (僕らのラブライブ9周年)

Work-Life-Venting & Art Updates

*** Venting Space- Do skip for the art updates instead... ***

After thinking much, I've decided to go, after my next trip(in September)...

Following from my previous post, I did say that I found my work manageable after finally able to do the tasks assigned to me but was worried of my next task... And guess what, my fear came true...

I was recently assigned another task beyond my skills b'cos one of my colleagues left. 

And what's worse was how all projects handled by that colleague were pushed to me...

Currently, I'm holding onto 5 projects- tho two of them are just for my maintenance sake, it's just scary to hold onto so many projects...

What's even more worse is that cos I was working on my previous project of web development, I haven't really touched on them, except for one...

If nothing goes wrong, my current working state should be "fine"; working on one project.

However,(touch wood) should any one of those handed-over projects have issues to be resolved, that's it... I may very well just break...

To be honest, I was debating to leave when I came back after one month from my march trip. 

But seeing as my supervisor is nice, I felt bad leaving(especially when there's a shortage of employees)...

However, seeing my situation, I don't think I can afford another 'heart attack' of being assigned another beyond-my-skills task...

I always told myself, no matter what people say or do, I should just be me; and not follow and do what people do, just cos it's unfair and if they can do it, why can't I?

At this rate, being myself is not gonna cut- I would have loved to leave only after finishing my 'current'(now set-aside) project of the web development but after giving this new project... I've given up.

This is gonna be the last task my supervisor is ever gonna give me- cos whether I like it or not, I'm gonna break from the stress and pressure... It's not worth it to let my health get killed over one job...

*** That's the end of my venting. *** 

Art updates(Since that last which was Jan art updates...)

Aqours Birthday Artwork:

1. Matsuura Kanan: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter
2. Kunikida Hanamaru: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter
3. Watanabe You: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter

Kukugumi Birthday Artwork:

1. Hanayagi Kaoruko: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter
2. Isurugi Futaba: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter
3. Tsuyuzaki Mahiru: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter 

Others:

• Sonoda Umi Birthday Artwork: DeviantArt | Instagram | Twitter 
• Promise Tower: DeviantArt | Instagram (Think I've shared the insta link before...?)
• Kazuno Sarah Birthday Artwork: Instagram | Twitter (yet to upload to deviantart^^;)

Upcoming works; works (already)planned for the year:

• Aqours June baby(already finished; so that I can upload the HD version on her bday:) 
• July babies- gng be busy; esp when there's one after another...
• August babies- even worse since there're two on the same day...
• September Aqours babies!- will be going to jp to celebrate my fave's bday^^(and participate in sif thanksgiving~)
• October Kukugumi baby
• [Likely] Kazuno Leah birthday artwork 

Beside upcoming works, there're a few works-done-but-yet-to-upload. 

Most of them are Pokemon (Ultra) Sun and Moon fanart- started the game a few weeks ago and was quite hyped for it until I became the champion... That said, since on the topic of Pokemon, can't wait for Sword and Shield to be out! The 3D art made Pokemon World gives a Monster Hunter feel~

^Will be uploading them soon^^

And that is all. 

Think I've been venting so much that it's an obvious sign that I hated my life even more than when I was in Uni.

Such is life;

• It's not a game where one can reset or heck care cos things don't end well; b'cos if you do, you lose. And, there is no restart button either.
• It's much like a journey where there're ups and downs. How one handle each is the experience people gained to continue this journey, until the end than giving up halfway!

Until next time, this is Yaiji signing off.

Yaiji~

~9 Months into working...

First Reiwa post~

So, it had been about 9 months since I started working on this same job and while the last jp trip helped to relief some of the... Stress and maybe burnout, it was just a momentary relief...

When I was given this project, which was a hand-over from another, I wasn't having any expectations.
However, upon working on it, I started to get irritated and frustrated as I had no prior knowledge in web design or whatsoever...
In addition, there wasn't anyone I can really turn to- my supervisor did help in giving advice but that's about it and I can understand- in the working world, you must be independent...

The learning curve was quite steep and the deadline given by my supervisor wasn't helping much... It was stressful that I dreaded coming to work... My friend even advised me to tell my supervisor about not having skills to work on the project...

Tbh, I like to give myself a chance to try before I throw in the towel... And, programming isn't too far-fetched if you've some programming skills- the syntax is almost similar with slight difference(which can be daunting... Like the semi-colon in C when you're used to python...)

But, web design is... A combination of a few languages; javascript, CSS and html... I'm just glad that the back-end is written in python which I'm familiar with- helps a little(but the structure takes a while to get used to tho...)

CSS and Html weren't too bad but the amount of terms, classes, attributes can be overwhelming... And to make it worse, there are like two libraries, materialize CSS and bootstrap and they are mutually exclusive...

^I wouldn't even know about these libraries if not for the fact that my recent assignment was to integrate a few modules, done by others, to the project I am working on... And that few modules were using bootstrap while the project was using materialize CSS...
It was a lot of work, especially when I really have no experience working with either of the libraries... A lot of the help was thanks to the internet yet it was really a draining and stressful period for me as I lived with constant fear of not able to do the integration...

That said, I somehow managed to do it but even so, that does not ease up my fear- Fear that I can't accomplish my next task... Because if I can be assigned a task that I have zero experience, I fear what other tasks can be given...

In addition, web design is not really what I wanted to do(but I can't deny that learning it is not interesting- would say "fun" if not for the stressful learning circumstances...) I had wanted to go into machine-learning...

Lastly, my health... Had waist pain due to long time spent on sitting which is the nature of my job... And with the fact that I do not know how to take break, makes it worse... Had acupuncture to help a bit but the pain is still there and to think I'm only in my early twenty... Feel like an old lady... 

All these factors are just making me dislike the job and quit it... But my supervisor is nice(even though I hated the task assigned...) and I suppose that is one of the 2 factors making me stay- the other is the fact that it won't look good on my resume if I quit before 1 year for my first job... Sigh...

It's really a dilemma... Reading online doesn't help- tho there was one advice that struck to me; your body don't lie; if you dislike, hate it, that's a signal- why would anyone willing to do something they dislike/hate...?

It's hard to find a job you really love since at some point in time, due to nature of the working world, that love will just turn into something you came to hate... Or maybe... it's just me being too difficult in working for someone...?

That's just my ramblings to vent out my feelings to my job... At this rate, I may just end it all in this year...

This is Yaiji signing off

Yaiji

Back from trip~

Came back from my trip from Japan(about a week ago)

I suppose it was a nice break after 6 months of working; felt slightly motivated to work after back(but it was a momentary thing-.- May write another post, talking about it...)

It was my first time going during Spring and maybe I was kinda too used to the summer weather, I didn't bring much thick clothing to combat the cold, thinking it was just cooling ver of summer and only brought a few long sleeves... To be exact, the temperature was alright; what made it bad was the wind... There was once, the wind was so strong that my bag felt like flying off(if not for me holding it, despite carrying it)

As a result, my hands developed cold rashes- But my hands recovered fast once back to my homeland:)

Despite this, it was fun; exploring Nagoya for the first time! And, just so happen, there was sega LLSS collaboration cafe to go to!

Got Riko drink but got Chika coaster- ChikaRiko FTW!XD

Maze Udon- not bad but was a little spicy(which I'm bad at...The rice was a great help~)

Naturally, tried 2nd years parfait- surprisingly the ice-cream was not mikan but peach(while first years' got the mikan... Even tho Yoshiko hates it...)

See my insta for more pics:)

There's also LLSS premium pop-up shop at Tokyo(which lasted until 13/3 and by the time I went on the 2nd last, the file to be given for every 3000 yen spent was already over...) And, most of the merch were gone too...

Regardless, I still spent a fair bit in getting the acrylic standee of ChikaRiko and gacha quite a lot for the mini standee too...

(Forgot to take pic of muse's...)

Too cute>< And got the muse: baka trio~ No Umi/Riko, glad to get Honoka^^ 

Also went to Gallery x Parco exhibition of Revue Starlight transition stageplay 2 in Shibuya- had a hard time finding it since the place was actually a small place with dark entrance... As such, actually walked past a few times before finding it(for such places, google maps is not really your best friend...) 

Spent a fair bit to get the postcards:

No Hikari(T.T) But, all the members looked really good in this outfits!

And gacha again for 3 times(cos I can only afford that many...) No Hikari or Karen but got JunNana!(Plus Futaba~)
That Junna without her glasses looks great~ Think Nana seems to be blessing me lately; her sun nation ver came to me and now getting both her postcard and badge!

See my insta for more pics~

In addition, as my family went to Mishma Skywalk and there was time, was able to stop by Numazu(and ate a meal at Sun Sun Sunshine Cafe~) to get some of the new stamps and badges(near to the station), plus get the latest LLSS x noppo bun(which I kinda regretted getting one cos it was quite good!!!- flavor was tiramisu!)

If I am to compare this to the maze udon that I ate in sega collaboration cafe, I would prefer this(and they are of same price...I think...) And, just one meal, got 2nd yrs' coaster~

Didn't ate this; my family ordered and thought the rainbow thingy was jam but it was actually cheese...

Water blue new world parfait- just love blue stuff^^ And the coaster is Saint Snow(in awaken the power outfits!)  

saw it while getting the stamps~

The badges gotten~ The gk's was a surprise since it was valentine day exclusive! 

LLSS shopping plastic bag- only exclusive to purchases in numazu~

Wish I gotten more...

Following that, I went to Kanda Shrine to celebrate Umi's birthday! And, experience a miracle of seeing Sakura!- it was really unexpected since no sakura should be blooming in Tokyo during the period that I went; yet it did.

And, subsequently, saw more sakura at a temple(called yushima-seido)near the shrine and went there, finding not just sakura but pink roses as well!

Lastly, went to Odaiba to see the gundam Unicorn Statue- it was RX-78-2 statue the last time I went... And watched the light show and found an awesome song called Cage by SawanoHiroyuki[nZk]:Tielle!(was looping quite a few times while working~)

Recorded the light show and only to found out that 3min++ video was recorded without sound...(*cries*)

Before the show, went to Gundam base(at 7f- and only knew the existence a few years back; even tho it existed when I last went to odaiba...*face palm*) And that visit...Blown up my budget... That place was like a paradise for gunpla fans... And their limited kits were just too much(that despite 'not much' space left at home, I bought quite an amount of kits^^;)

A pic of proof~

All in all, it was an interesting trip(like many of my other past trips) and no matter how many times I had gone to Japan, it never failed to surprise and amaze me!

And, until next time, can't wait for the type of surprises I will experience!

This is Yaiji signing off!

Yaiji~

[Special Update] Jap Trip Day 3: Numazu Stamp Collection Part 2

Continuation from Part 1, this post will talk about the stamp collection experience in Uchiura & taking a ride in the Love Live Sunshine taxi!

First, my family and I took a bus down to Uchiura in the morning as the taxi was booked in the morning and the pick-up location was at sannoura tourist information center.

Saw the LLSS wrapping bus while waiting for the bus to Uchiura~

Took a while to reach Uchiura from Numazu; it is quite a distance away but not too long~

Passed by Awashima-
if you zoomed in(sry for the bad quality),
you can see Kanan's house(which is a frog museum)!

My family and I alighted at Mito Sea Paradise- tho it would have been nearer to the tourism center if we alighted a stop later. However, since there was some time, we decided to collect some of the stamps nearby(where the places have already opened...)

Mito Sea Paradise-
if you squint your eyes, the queue at the left was the queue to stamp the Sif thanksgiving stamp! 

Naturally, the first stamp of day 3 was Mito Sea Paradise You's stamp; with the addition of the Sif thanksgiving 2nd year stamp too!

After that, we walked to the 7-11 store, shown in season 1 episode 11; where Aqours members were talking to Riko on the phone! This store is also a stamp area and since it was Riko stamp, I bought the badge as well~

It's quite faint due to the colour...

Following that, we crossed the road to chidori kanko kisen- it's a harbour(or port?) where for a certain amount of fee, the ship/boat there can bring you around the area(I think...?)

Again, it's another stamp area of Riko:)

The pink is slightly better:)

And, the ships there had Shitake wrapping on them~

It's not very clear as I took from a distance; didn't want to walk on the beach...

Larger view of Mito Beach

I'm sure LLSS fans would be very familiar with this place but here's some FYI;

This is the place where Chika and Riko met for the first time where Riko was attempting to jump into the sea to swim but Chika stopped her cos it was only in April(which is Spring in Japan; you can imagine the sea temperature at that time...)

This is also the place where Chika was practising for the flip in miracle wave!

And, there are many more scenes in anime that this place was shown~

As to why it's such iconic place in LLSS, it is just outside Chika's house!

Yasudaya Ryokan- aka Chika's house!

Shitake~

Once done, it was around the time of the taxi pick-up so we walked to the tourism center. The distance wasn't short but neither was it long.

However, there wasn't an actual pathway for people to walk; so we were walking on the road. Since there wasn't much traffic, it was a nice walk:)

Upon arriving, the taxi was already there even though it was not yet the time!-  LLSS fans were taking photo of the taxi(and me as well, lol)

Here are the exterior of the taxi:

And now for the interior:

Have the same pillow;)

Aida san!!!

Apparently, these were all donated by fans!(Didn't know... If I know, would have brought some;
at that time, I bought a random LLSS coaster keychain from 7-11 but sadly, got Ruby...)

Aida san's sign!

Nesoberi~

So, the taxi was rented for 2h and my family told the driver that the places to go which are the far-away area. And that is the Osezaki side and there are only 2 stamps... Sigh... The amount of effort put to get that 2 stamps.

Oh but managed to see a You taxi while at Osezaki there:

The amount of nesoberi(wow...)

Uchicchi!

Apparently, the driver(of the You taxi) is actually the same driver my family and I saw while kinda stranded at this area(until the driver helped us to call a taxi, bless the driver)!

Sadly, he don't rmb but it was sure was surprising~

After that, the areas specified by my family were done without much time spare so the driver brought us to some of LLSS places:

This was in one of the stamp spots and it was the place shown in the cover of LLSS walker 1!

The bus stop- was shown in anime season 1 episode 2
where ChikaYou seen RubyMaru and Chika tried to lure Ruby out with a candy... 

Think the place where ChikaRiko scene happened in anime season 1 episode 10

Think it was the stairways to Benten Shrine- would love to try going... One day that is...
Good thing is that it's not too far from the tourism center(which is quite a surprise and as well as the school!)

Since there was still time left, the driver drove to the other uchiura stamp areas which we didn't take when we arrived in the morning(as the areas weren't opened or we didn't have the time)

This is one of the LLSS collaboration hotels that were selling Aqours members' hot spring towel and bucket(?)
And it's obvious what member set is this hotel selling~

^I tried to buy Chika/Riko set from Yasudaya Ryokan but sadly both sets were sold out...

With that, the eventful taxi ride experience was over- a little reflection of it:

Think I mentioned in my previous part, my japanese skills weren't very good so I couldn't exactly converse with the driver tbh...

The longest I ever talked to the driver was at the start and I asked which place will be the first stop. Following that, I just nod or answered 'yes' as he explained some of the LLSS places- there were times I couldn't follow him...

^I feel that I can understand japanese to a certain degree but to converse, it's hard. Plus my pronunciation is bad too(and this does not limit to jap only...)

My family and I told the driver to let us alight at Mito Sea Paradise where we went in for a while(cos I wanted the postcard & another awkward Japanese exchange again... But in the end, managed to get the postcard so it worked out:)

A few LLSS pictures taken from Mito Sea Paradise:

Apparently, these lanterns(?) were placed in different places by each year;
1st year was at NESOPASA and 3rd year was at Sun Sun Sunshine Cafe~

Uchicchi!!!

2nd year Thanksgiving standee~

Following that, there was a slight rush as we walked back to one of the stamp area which wasn't opened when the driver drove us there before we ran to catch the LLSS bus to Izu Hakone train station.

Think I was too tired and only realised the Aqours members were speaking in the bus, at around the end of the ride... As such, could only record a bit of Dia-Arisa:

^Not very sure what she was saying but I suppose it is some safety msg...?

And this was the bus I took~

And here's Izu Hakone Station~

Chika Chan!!!

^Apparently, there is a LLSS collaboration with Izu Hakone line where Aqours members standee were places in different stations of this line. And Chika is at this station!

Also, this station is a stamp area of Kanan.

Next, had some lunch at the station; since it would be a while before the station back to Mishima would arrive...

Soba is love(too)

Shout-out to the staff and their friendly services~

After quite a wait...

Managed to take pics of the signs of all members:

I felt a bit awkward taking the pics as I was like moving around while the train was moving... Luckily, the shaking from the train(while it was moving) was manageable~

And here's a better vid of the wrapping:

^This was taken after alighting so have more time to video~

And, Kanan Standee is at Mishima station~

This pretty much concluded the stamp collection of the current ones; went to some of the places where we missed out at days 1 and 2.

My family and I had dinner at Sun Sun Sunshine cafe- was quite a long queue(think cos of Yoshiko bday and as well as the thanksgiving sif event...) that I wanted to just call it off but my family was okay with the wait so~

Yohane Magic Circle- placed at the entrance;
you have to pass by before you enter~

2nd years parfait & that chalk work~

CHIKARIKO!!!

Riko set:) Was surprisingly filling(and got the 2nd years coaster^^)

Yousoba- don't exactly like it...^^;

Some pics taken of the cafe:

And here's 3rd years' lanterns

^Bias to my fave~

Oh and dining at the cafe will give you a 3rd years postcard(think I mentioned in last part). And so, managed to get all 3 postcards. Moreover, sun sun sunshine cafe was also the location to exchange completed thanksgiving stamp card for the A4 file:)

Posted in part 1 before but here's a refresh~

That was my day 3 of my trip~

It was less tiring as compared to day 2(since there was less walking) but still quite rush and my blister gotten from day 2 wasn't helping...

Think I will try make one more post of either NESOPASA or thanksgiving sif event. It had been like almost half a year since the trip; my memories of it aren't very clear.

As I'm writing this post, I had to look at my pictures and my stamp book to know how and why did I walk this way while linking the events of the trip...

This is Yaiji signing off; until the next post(which I'm hoping I get it out before my next trip...)

Yaiji~

PS: the taxi I took was the old one- the design changed in a few days(?) after my trip! Quite surprising & lucky(?) that I took before the change:)