First, think this year was a hectic and mentally draining one that I had wanted to quit my job this year but ended up staying for the current project I am working on(which is now a love-hate thing...)
That said, I believed it was an accomplishment to be staying in the job for a year when I had long to quit since last year... I guessed the mindset of giving it chance, became the fuel for me to walk until this far...?
Aside from my work life, my mental health suffered a little due to how upset I was with my job that I felt like life was meaningless but of course I wasn't suicidal...
It was more like a loss of direction of where to go and that if life was just working to death for the sake of living, I rather not live...
However, that was just me being unable to think and see further from my current situation since life was unpredictable; you never know what will happen tomorrow and I guess that's what adds color to life...?
^ That said, I do feel really tired that I just really want to sleep in peace... As such, I became impatient to finish my work so that I can finally rest... But work was never-ending(or else there was no point of me working in the job) so my thinking was just gonna tire me more; especially, when I met with a problem that I can't seem to see the light...
Currently, I'm trying to do my best while at my pace that I don't tire myself out but changing old habits sure take a while to do...Sigh...(Maybe that will be my resolution for 2020)
Despite all these, I think the most important I should first learn was to love myself more than others- which I am slowly trying to accept that if I don't love or trust myself, how would people like and trust me...?
That was my reflection of my personal life of 2019.
Onto art updates:
I had uploaded all inktober works to both deviantart and pixiv.
Next, here's my summary of art of 2019(which I had already uploaded to both deviantart and pixiv as well~)
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| Template used: link |
Works weren't hard to find but were hard to choose which to put since each month has either Aqours or Kukugumi Bday works to choose from for each month...
Lastly, the December work seen in the summary is the chibi versions done of the Aqours 2019 bday art- Will be uploading soon(tho already uploaded to twitter...); can see a preview from my deviantart cover photo;)
That is all for last art update of 2019! Looking forward to how the summary of art for 2020 will look like:)
Before ending, 2019 may not exactly be a good year for me, I think the experiences I gained would serve to build a stronger and resilient me for the years ahead till I find that one reason to live life!
Until next year then!
Yaiji~
PS: This may be my last few posts as I find less motivation to blog- may just come back any time to pen my thoughts but think those times will be lessened more in the years ahead...(I am not gonna close the blog; it's fun and interesting to reread some old posts and revisit those moments^^)
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