It's been a while though not a month long but still it had been quite some time since I updated. I kind of wanted to sort out my thoughts through blogging... Let's see... Today, my Vice Principal had a talk with my class, given the poor performance we had as a class in our last exams... It was an awkward session where the Vice Principal talked to us about how we should go about to do something about our studies. To say the truth, I think not even me, my class but any sensible person knows that one has to work even harder when he is not performing well. However, it is the thought that counts when a person nags to you take actions. People hate nagging. I for one is no exception but my form teacher told my class that it is because people care, they nag. And, that brought me back to a certain memory when I was in my primary school where one of my classmates complained to me that her mother was naggy and I simply replied that, 'it is because she cares...' I wonder how the younger me was able to deduce into that conclusion but it certainly made me realised that my thinking until now had never changed because... As much as I hope people stop nagging to me, I feared the day the nagging stops since it just meant that they have given up on me and are washing their hands off me.
And, this idea was even more reinforced when I was reading a Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha(MGLN) fanfic called <Whipped>. It is a story that explored the mental health of Fate, considering the abuse she was given by her mother in the past. It was said in the story that since Fate was whipped by her mother many times in the past, she came to find that sort of beating as a form of love (if I did not understood the story wrongly...). Thus, Fate would do things that ended her been spanked despite how sorry she was... And that was the extreme way of people trying to feel loved through physical means but it means the same thing that, sometimes love comes from pain.
We do not know what the other party is thinking. No matter how sweet, how chessy words may be to a person, those words may sometimes not reflect the writer's true feelings... That's why actions such as scolding, beating, nagging are some ways of showing the fact that the person cares, or else the person wouldn't be bothered enough to take actions...
It is an irony that I hate nagging yet at the same time, welcome it to confirm that I still have hope in the person's eyes. In a way, it means that I am not a lost cause; I am very much still useful, have values in me- Sounded as though I am a product but that's how I see myself and that is the reality; if you're useful, you're wanted...If not, you're very much an outcast...A pest in the society... Sigh...
That's about all my ramblings! I'll end off with an AMV on MGLN first movie. The song is stone cold by fictionjunction!- It's a great song! With that, enjoy!
Well, that's about it! Hope you enjoy! Till then, ciao~
Dark~
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